


We Don't Talk Anymore

by dearzoemurphy



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alana and Zoe are roommates!!, Evan's trying to get better, F/M, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Kinda Fluff Kinda Angst, Post-Canon, and Heidi's just a sweetheart, fills in the gaps of the musical with my own backstory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-04-08
Packaged: 2019-04-20 02:16:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14250900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dearzoemurphy/pseuds/dearzoemurphy
Summary: It had been two years since their last meeting. Two years. Sure, there had been a few text messages every couple months, a call around Christmas, and plenty of saying they should meet up soon, but no actual meetings between Zoe Murphy and Evan Hansen in two years.Post-canon fluff/angst where Evan and Zoe meet again a few years into college and a few years after the end of the musical.





	We Don't Talk Anymore

**Author's Note:**

> I was struck with random inspiration and I think this is the best Zoevan fic I've ever written, but it could just be the 3 am talking. Regardless, I hope you all enjoy!!

  
~ Zoe ~

It had been two years since their last meeting. Two years. Sure, there had been a few text messages every couple months, a call around Christmas, and plenty of saying they should meet up soon, but no actual meetings between Zoe Murphy and Evan Hansen in two years. As she was nearing the end of her sophomore year of college, Zoe didn't have time for much else than school work, studying for exams, preparing for her final jazz concert of the year, working her normal shifts at the nearby music store, eating, and barely getting enough sleep. Her hectic schedule might drive many of her peers crazy, but Zoe thrived in the busy environment that caused her to be caught in the moment and not feel the pain of her past, nor have to think her deepest, most secret thoughts.

The only downside to staying busy was the social isolation, but at least Zoe had her roommate, Alana. At least she had her mother, whom she texted every night and called at least once a week. At least she had acquaintances in most of her classes and lectures that she could exchange pleasantries with. At least she had a few kind-hearted coworkers. At least she was making money and playing music and studying psychology and thriving in her environment. And she was content.

  
~ Evan ~

Keeping his eyes firmly on the road in front of him, Evan ignored the looks he got from pedestrians and the drivers next to him. Unfortunately, he’d been unable to alter his appearance enough to be unrecognizable by most of his small town. Even though his minor fame had come and gone overnight, the people of his community still knew and recognized him as a local hero. They didn't know even half of the truth. Every time he was recognized at a grocery store or at a restaurant when he came home from college, a part of him died inside. Every smile he had to fake and “thank you” he had to say to people thanking him for founding the Connor Project chipped away at his soul. His hands gripped the wheel even tighter as the light turned green and his foot eased onto the gas. He just had to reach the safe haven of his mother’s home and he would be free. He could ask her to order a pizza or get Chinese delivered so they didn't have to go out tonight. Finally attending university was the best thing that had happened to him post-Connor Project. Only a few stray people knew of him and what he'd done, but had only brought it up once or twice in the past and otherwise left him alone. He worked at the campus coffee shop, and was studying naturalism and education, holding onto and pursuing his dream of being a national park ranger. He was close to being able to say he was happy; he lived alone but had several suitemates that he hung out with often, enjoyed most of his classes, and was able to relax about his student loans with the income he made working as a barista. The only things holding him back at the moment were being plagued by his past every time he returned home and his relationship with each of the Murphy's. He missed each of them for a multitude of different reasons; he missed Cynthia’s warm hugs and her special way of knowing exactly what everyone needed, he missed Larry’s lessons in manhood and playful teasing and the way he made Evan not long for his father to return, he missed Zoe. God, he missed every little detail, every single minute of her being. He missed her strawberry scented hair, the doodles that sprawled over practically everything she owned, the way her hands gently plucked at the strings of her ukulele and guitar, how she embraced him by twining her arms in his and resting her head on his shoulder, the little hitch in her breath every time he leaned in for a kiss, the way she'd looked when she was sprawled out on his twin bed, practically glowing with her hair fanned out around her face, looking just like a goddess as he praised every inch of her-

Evan’s train of thought came to a grinding halt as he realized that he had reached his mother’s home and pulled into the driveway, shaking his head to rid himself of the place his mind had let him travel to. He felt slightly ashamed every time he let it wander that far, but quickly brushed it off and stifled the blush rising in his cheeks as he grabbed his keys and left the car, ready to hug his mama for the first time in many months.

Heidi had seen her son pull into the driveway, and was already waiting in the open door with her arms outstretched. “C’mere Ev!” she cried out, to which Evan quickened his pace and practically kept into the arms of his mother.

“I've missed you,” he whimpered, burying his head on her shoulder and throwing his arms around her.

“I've missed you too, bud,” she replied, kissing Evan on the head and stroking his hair.

After several moments of embracing, mother and son reluctantly let go.

“So, do you actually want to come inside or not?” Heidi joked, laughing lightly, “I made the spicy chicken wings that you love so much.”

Evan’s face brightened. “Yes! Absolutely…and not just because of the chicken wings,” he added, laughing with his mother.

~~~

After stuffing their faces with chicken wings so hot that they drank an entire gallon of milk together to counter the side effects, Evan and Heidi now sat together on their cozy green living room couch, Heidi with a glass of red wine in hand, Evan with chocolate milk, watching the Bachelor.

“Aww, I can't believe Veronica didn't make it this time,” Heidi grumbled lightheartedly, to which Evan chuckled. Heidi lifted an eyebrow and turned to her son. “Say, how's your love life? Anything or anyone I should know about?” she asked quizzically.

Evan laughed. “Nope, nothing. Nothing new at all, I'm kind of focusing on my studies and work right now. I've still got the guys at the dorm that I have movie nights and game nights with though,” he offered, trying to change the subject, clearly uncomfortable.

Heidi nodded thoughtfully. “Hmm. I was just wondering. I saw Mrs. Murphy at the supermarket the other day, we had a nice little chat,” she said.

Having chosen the wrong time to take a drink, Evan almost spewed chocolate milk over their coffee table in shock. “What?! You talked to Cynthia?” he asked.

“Yes. We actually ended up getting lunch together and talked about what happened, and she said that what Zoe said to you, about her family growing and becoming healthier because of you, that wasn't a lie. She said that they still didn't know if they'd be able to fully let you back into their lives, but they forgive you. They love you. They miss you,” Heidi continued, smiling sadly.

Evan was aghast. “Really? I mean, I've talked to Zoe a couple times since then but…” he trailed off.

Heidi smiled, knowingly this time. “Well, Cynthia said Zoe’s spring break starts next week, and she's coming back home, so you could see her sometime while your breaks overlap,” she offered.

Evan remained silent, simply nodding thoughtfully.

“You really loved her, didn't you?” Heidi asked suddenly.

Her son was taken aback by the question, but kept nodding. “Yeah. I did,” he added simply.

Heidi put down her wine and reached to Evan to give him a hug. “I know. I knew. I knew a lot more than you thought I did,” she said softly, a twinkle of mischief in her eye.

Evan didn't even know what she was talking about, but he still blushed reflexively. “Ah, yeah, well…I'll try to ask her if she wants to meet up sometime next week,” he said, once again attempting to awkwardly segue from a topic.

His mother simply laughed. “That's good. I'm proud of you,” she said, ruffling his hair and planting a kiss on his forehead.

  
~ Zoe ~

“He just texted me for the first time in months asking to hang out next week and I just don't know what to do!” Zoe exclaimed, pacing back and forth.

Alana was calmly lounging on her bed, arms propped up on a pillow as she lazily painted her nails on one of the few study breaks she allowed herself. “Well, what do you want to do?” she asked.

“I don't know, that's why I'm asking you!” Zoe retorted, rubbing her temples.

Her roommate giggled. “Okay, okay. First, take a deep breath,” she instructed. Zoe stopped pacing for a second and took the quickest deep breath imaginable.

“Next, I want you to stop and think. Just think. What are your feelings about him?” Alana followed up.

“Well…I think he's a good person. He's just had a lot of bad breaks and made some bad choices,” Zoe said, closing her eyes.

“Alright, that's a good start. Go on,” Alana added.

“Actually, on second thought, bad choices is an understatement. They were terrible choices. Life ruining choices. He devastated my family. To hell and back with whatever growth we got from it, he hurt us. He hurt my mom,” Zoe said weakly.

“Okay, that's good. That's important to say out loud and not ignore so it doesn't build up,” Alana commented, wisely.

Zoe nodded, then continued her previous pacing. “He lied. He lied about something big. But I have already forgiven him in person. I thought I'd forgiven him with all of my being. But I still hold a little bit of resentment, you know? I think I can, considering he lied to my whole family to get what he wanted,” she elaborated.

Alana nodded thoughtfully, holding up her nails to make sure she'd gotten every edge. “It's completely valid to still have anger. Hell, I'm still angry at Evan for using me. For using all of us. But I've remained in touch and talked to him, and screamed at him, and still had lunch with him a few times since then and I think we're cool now, but some part of me will still hold it against him. He's a genuinely good guy, and I think that's why it still hurts so much. I can't imagine how much worse it must be for you,” she said thoughtfully.

Zoe simply nodded again.

“What about the good parts?” Alana followed up.

“His eyes. They're this beautiful sea green and they can practically see into your soul. He's got such a good soul too, he always knows exactly what everyone needs and will do anything to get it done. He'd always give me his jacket if I even mentioned being a little bit cold and wrap his arm around me and rub my shoulder. He was always ready to talk and let me cry on him. I wept on him. I wiped my snotty nose on his shirt sleeve and he comforted me and talked me through everything, in that soothing but kinda of sexy whisper of his, you know?” Zoe started, blushing a bit towards the last part, “but anyway, there's something in him that makes me want to forgive him wholly and completely, but something always holds me back. I'm not sure what it is yet. Because I also think he's like my soulmate,” she finished, getting quiet.

Alana nodded slowly. “Wow. Okay, that's a lot to unpack. But first, just because I'm curious, did you two ever sleep together?” she asked bluntly.

Zoe was stunned silent. “Well, umm…I mean…yeah. Why do you ask?” she asked back, blushing furiously.

Alana gave a small smirk. “I could tell. You guys were young and recklessly in love, and adding that into the mix can complicate feelings for a long time,” she explained, putting the cap back on her nail polish and sitting up.

“What do you mean?” Zoe inquired.

“I mean, that can cause an even deeper bond and connection, especially since you were young, so you have to figure out if it's more that and the sense of obligation you subconsciously feel towards that or you really are some type of soulmate,” Alana elaborated, hugging her pillow to her chest.

Zoe sighed. “Okay, but this is still just as complicated as it was ten minutes ago, if not more!” she exclaimed, flopping onto Alana’s bed.

Alana smiled sweetly and drew Zoe’s head into her lap and began running her fingers through her hair. “At least you got some of your feelings out. I think you use life as a distraction, Zoe Murphy, and that's all well and good until you're on break next week, at home with nothing to do but think,” she said pensively.

“Ughhhh, I think this means I have to go meet with him no matter what I feel, doesn't it? Even though we already had closure and a nice moment together,” Zoe grumbled, rubbing her eyes.

Alana giggled and leaned down to place a quick kiss on Zoe’s temple. “Yes, you should go meet with him dear Zoe Murphy. Of course I can't tell you what to do, but it would be highly recommended,” she said.

Zoe smiled up at her roommate. “I'll text him back now and I'll just have to wait until next week to see what happens,” she said, slightly melancholic.

  
~ Evan ~

It was finally time. The week had passed by in relative peace and bliss, full of cooking and watching The Bachelor with his mother, long bike rides and walks through the local parks while she was at work, and meeting up with none other than Jared Kleinman several times, since their break times happened to coincide. The fact that hanging out with Jared meant he could use his family’s backyard pool and hot tub didn't hurt either.

But now, it was his judgement day. He was waiting at the entrance gate to the park, clutching a picnic basket with his sweaty hands, checking his watch to see that she should be there in seven minutes. Knowing Zoe, she'd either be five minutes early or five minutes late with no in between, so his wait would either be two minutes or twelve minutes. He sighed and attempted to drift away to a happier mental place, gazing at a cluster of trees in the distance, watching a yellow swallowtail flutter from flower to flower, and admiring the gardening expertise it must have taken to grow the formations of flowers on the trellis at the entrance. He was so lost in thought that he didn't even notice when she showed up.

~ Zoe and Evan ~

“Hey!” Zoe said, tapping Evan on the shoulder after admiring how adorable he was when he was unknowingly smiling, while lost in thought.

He jumped slightly and turned towards Zoe. “Oh! Um, hey! How…how's it going?” he asked, face immediately blushing and hand moving to scratch his neck.

Zoe giggled. “It's going fine. I'm finally in the psychology program and working at the music store, so life has really never been better,” she said, “how about yourself?” she asked.

Evan shrugged. “Well, it's…alright. I'm at school for naturalism and education so I can be a certified park ranger,” he answered plainly, still blushing as he accidentally stared at Zoe.

She'd chosen this dress on purpose, she knew she looked good in it. It was a springy, off-the-shoulder ensemble with a ruffle at the top that cinched right at her waist and fell to just above her knees, covered in a light blue flower print.

“That's nice! Well, shall we start walking? We can still talk of course…” Zoe offered, the hint of a blush starting to creep over her own cheeks.

“Oh! Yeah, of course, I guess that's kind of why we came here, isn't it?” Evan responded, laughing nervously then looking to Zoe to take the lead of which direction they would travel. She smiled and entered through the gate, Evan close behind, and the two brushed against each other ever so slightly before assuming positions side by side to walk down the gravel path.

She'd been without Evan for so long that she forgot how intoxicating his presence could be. She'd forgotten how nice he smelled. She'd forgotten how her skin tingled when his rough knuckles brushed against hers for half a second. It was almost overwhelming.

“So…how are your parents?” Evan asked, attempting to initiate conversation after several moments of awkward silence.

“They're alright. My mom is fairing slightly better than my dad, he's just getting hit harder with old age though,” Zoe said, chuckling, “but they're both pretty happy and that's what matters. I haven't seen them in person much since going off to college, but my mom keeps me updated about everything that I miss.”

Evan chuckled in return. “My mom is the same way. She calls at least once a day during my work breaks,” he said, grimacing.

Zoe laughed. “Jeez, I thought I had it bad with texting daily and a call weekly,” she joked.

“Yeah, usually I don't have anything new to update her on, so she just talks about people at the firm and her clients,” he added, smiling.

“Aww, I'm glad Heidi’s working at a firm now. Say, where are you working now,” Zoe asked, jabbing him lightly in the arm.

“Um, Starbucks, actually. Just the one on campus, which can be slightly awkward when I learn exactly how many espresso shots Joe from second lecture takes in his twice daily coffee,” Evan said, laughing slightly.

“I can imagine that can get…uncomfortable,” Zoe responded, laughing in turn. Without even thinking about it, she reached for Evan’s hand and laced her fingers between his. It was such a natural motion that neither of them questioned it until Evan realized that he was holding Zoe’s hand. He was holding Zoe’s hand. Being around her still made him so comfortable, made him let his guard down, made him feel like he was home. Like this was where he belonged. Anyone on the outside would see two young adults with fingers entwined, sun beaming down on their glowing faces, smiles and light blushes gracing the same faces, and could only see the happy, uncomplicated side to their story. They couldn't see the trauma, the pain, the anger, or the troubled waters of their past.

“Do you want to stop for our picnic here, since there's the open field and fountains in front of it?” Zoe asked, interrupting Evan’s train of thought.

“What? Oh! Yes, absolutely,” he affirmed, letting Zoe lead him to the prime picnic real estate by tugging on his hand and leading him to a spot on the grass in the shade with a perfect view of the fountains. She let go of his hand as he went to pull out the picnic blanket, and Evan immediately felt the drain of warmth from his hand. He missed it already.

While Evan set up the picnic, Zoe looked around and took in all of the surrounding foliage. Brilliant, bright petunias were in large terra-cotta planters all around the gorgeous stone fountain in between the two large green fields. Trees lined the border of gravel that ringed the long, rectangular park that led into hiking trails in the forest. She could see easily why Evan picked it for their meeting place. He knew it was exactly the kind of place she would love.

“Bon apétit,” Evan said, waving his arms over the picnic spread he'd set up as Zoe turned back to him and let out a small gasp. There was a small, lit candelabra in the middle of the red and white checked blanket, surrounded by decadent plates of her favorite foods; turkey and cheese sandwiches on slider rolls, a pile of Heidi’s hand cut baked fries, a basket of strawberries, and a small chocolate cake wrapped with a bright purple ribbon. Upon seeing the set up, Zoe couldn't help herself.

She kissed him.

She leaned slightly over the blanket, grabbed the collar of his handsome blue button up, and brought him close enough that their lips could meet.

It was tender. It was sweet. The taste of their lips barely mingled. They each reciprocated with the appropriate amount of pressure. It was a blissful, beautiful, and earth-shaking moment. It was also over within the blink of an eye.

When both of them pulled away after the perfect moment, the blissful moment, Zoe immediately became flustered.

“Oh my gosh I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to do that it was an accident I'm so-” she began quickly, but was cut off by Evan standing up, wrapping his arms around Zoe’s shoulders and pulling her so there was barely an inch of space between them and planting another kiss on her lips. Zoe was momentarily shocked, but quickly wrapped her arms around his waist and enthusiastically returned the kiss.

When they drew apart just slightly so that their breath still mingled between them, both started giggling.

“You wouldn't believe how much I've wanted to do that,” Evan said quietly, touching his forehead to Zoe’s.

Zoe giggled, grinning and sliding her hands down to hold Evan’s. “Me too. I threw myself into work and school and everything to distract me. From everything. But mostly you,” she barely whispered.

Evan raised his head, causing Zoe to do the same, which was when she saw the sadness clouding his eyes.

“What's wrong?” she asked, reaching a hand up to stroke his hair and leave it lingering on the side of his face.

“I want this to work. I want this work out so badly…” he said, hanging his head, barely choking back sobs.

Zoe drew in a sharp breath. “Shhh…shhh, don't worry about all that now, okay? Just let the world fall away. Just focus on me. It's just me and you, at the park, having a picnic,” she said soothingly, stroking Evan’s hair and neck with one hand and rubbing his palm with the other.

Evan gulped, then smiled through the thin layer of tears beginning to well up in his eyes. “You're right, it's only us. We can worry about everything complicated later,” he said, agreeing.

Zoe beamed. “Great. Now, shall we eat this delicious feast before the fries are cold?” she asked, surveying the blanket.

Evan grinned. “Absolutely,” he said, then planted a small kiss on Zoe’s jaw that she giggled at. Zoe scrunched up her face and went in for one more real kiss before squeezing Evan’s hands, releasing them, and plopping down on the blanket to indulge in the lavish picnic.

“You have no idea how much I've missed that,” she said, starting to dig into a turkey sandwich.

Evan gave a low chuckle. “Tell me about it,” he said sardonically, to which Zoe couldn't resist and leaned over all the food and kissed him again, giggling, turkey still clenched between her teeth.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoyed, please leave a comment with your thoughts, comments, criticism, and any ideas you'd like to see me write in the future!! As always, thanks for reading. <3


End file.
